


Last Request

by Cherry



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Before Erwin regains consciousness?, M/M, Spoilers for manga after chapter 49, bedside angst, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-26
Updated: 2013-11-26
Packaged: 2018-01-02 17:26:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1059559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry/pseuds/Cherry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An order Levi won't obey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Request

The messenger found Levi as he was exiting Dot Pixis’ office, arms full of files.

“What is it?” Levi growled. “If it’s about the resettlement, you need to speak to Nile Dawk directly, for all the good it’ll do you.”

“No, Sir,” the boy said urgently, “it’s Commander Smith. The doctor said you should come right away.”

Levi dumped all the files on a side table in the hallway and grasped the boy’s arms. “What is it? Has something happened?”

“I don’t know, Sir. I was only told to fetch you. S- Sir? You’re hurting –”

Levi released him abruptly. “Shit, sorry. He’s still in the same room, yes?”

“Yes, I think so. Sir –”

But Levi was already halfway down the corridor.

“What’s wrong?” Levi demanded, pushing open the door of Erwin’s room without knocking. The doctor stood beside Erwin’s bed, a white-clad nurse at her side.

“He has a fever. He hasn’t really been lucid, but we think he was asking for you. Saying your name, anyway.”

Levi crossed to the bed and looked down at Erwin. His face was too pale, his eyes shadowed and sunken, his skin damp with sweat. When Levi put his hand against Erwin’s forehead the heat made him think of the skinless flesh of titans.

Levi looked up at the doctor. “Will he recover?”

“It’s not possible to say. If the fever breaks, then his chances are good. If not, then he’ll probably die. For now, all we can do is keep his temperature down and give him water whenever he’s in a condition to take it.”

“That’s all we can do?”

“Yes, I’m afraid that’s all. It’s just a matter of waiting and letting nature take its course. He’s a strong man – fit and healthy. But losing an arm is a dreadful shock to the body.”

The nurse was holding a wet cloth to Erwin’s forehead. After a few minutes she rinsed the cloth in a bowl of cold water and reapplied it. Levi recognised her as one of the nurses with the Survey Corps’ medical division.

“I’ll do that,” Levi said.

The nurse moved aside with an assenting nod, but the doctor frowned. “My staff are well trained, Captain,” she said. “You must have better things –”

“No.” Levi settled on the edge of the bed next to Erwin. “I have every faith in your staff, but I’m staying with him until he recovers, so if this is all that can be done, then I’ll do it. There are a lot of wounded soldiers. There must be other things you can be doing.”

“Well, yes, but –”

“I’ll send for you if anything changes.”

“If there’s any change at all.”

“Of course.”

“Very well. But watch him carefully.”

“I won’t take my eyes off him for a second.”

When the doctor and the nurse had departed, Levi laid the newly rinsed cloth on Erwin’s hot forehead. He could feel the heat radiating from Erwin’s body, through the blanket. When he pulled the blanket back a little to allow cooler air to circulate, he saw that Erwin’s nightshirt was damp with sweat.   

Erwin’s eyes were closed and he made no sound, but his breaths came faster than normal.

Levi looked at his face, and thought about the fact that Erwin was the person he’d known longest. Seventeen years – half Levi’s life.

“You told me if I followed you, you’d lead me into hell,” Levi said aloud. “I still did it, didn’t I? So don’t you dare go anywhere I can’t follow you, you bastard.”

Erwin’s eyelids flickered, but he was lost in some fevered dream. Every so often he would cry out, or mumble unintelligible phrases. Levi kept applying the wet cloth, wiping sweat from his face and throat as well as his forehead. Outside the window the light dimmed as the sun dipped behind the walls.

Sometime towards midnight, Zoe Hange entered the room, carrying a tray. She set it down on an empty chair. Levi heard her pouring tea. “How is he?”

“The same,” Levi replied. “Too hot. He hasn’t woken or said anything that makes any sense.”

“Pixis is covering for you. The situation inside Sina is stable. I’m going to take Connie Springer back to his village, now that we’re sure Wall Rose is secure. He says one of the titans spoke to him.”

“Good idea. The more information we have about them the better. According to Ilse Langnar’s notebook, the titan she encountered spoke to her, too.” Levi gave Zoe a grateful nod as she handed him a cup of tea. He swallowed the tea quickly, turning his attention back to Erwin.

“Erwin’s strong,” Zoe said, on her way out of the room. “He’ll be all right.”

“He damn well better be,” Levi replied.

Deep into the night, Erwin sat up suddenly and asked for water. Levi held a cup to his lips, and tried to talk to him, but soon realised that he was still delirious. He managed to get half a cup of water into Erwin before the commander fell back onto the pillows, moaning. It was hard to make out the colour of Erwin’s skin in the flickering yellow light of the oil lamp, but when Levi put his palm against Erwin’s forehead he found that it was even hotter than before. He quickly rinsed the cloth in cold water and laid it against the burning skin. Erwin’s stump twitched and his eyes opened. “What’s going on?” he asked. “I can’t feel my arm! Levi, for fuck’s sake, where are you?”

“I’m here,” Levi said, looking into Erwin’s wide, unseeing eyes. “I’m here, Erwin. You were wounded, but you’ll be all right. Talk to me -”

“Tell Mike we need more horses.”

“What?”

“But the forest – we shouldn’t – are they coming, Mike?”

Levi couldn’t tell whether Erwin had been conscious at any point during his ramblings, but he knew that now was hardly the time to give Erwin the bad news about Mike, one of Erwin’s oldest friends, missing, presumed dead. Nor was it time to dwell on the long role call of all the others who hadn’t made it.

“Erwin,” Levi said firmly, “you need to wake up. You’ve slept long enough. They’ve been asking me to make decisions on your behalf, and I can’t put it off much longer. You need to wake up and take your command back. I need you to wake up. Please.”

Erwin’s head turned from side to side, his eyes open, but focussed on images from memories or nightmares. The heat of his fever warmed the cloth as soon as Levi pressed it to his forehead. Leaving Erwin for a few seconds, but watching him all the time, Levi went to the door and yelled for the doctor, but the corridor was empty.

Levi yelled again, until a sleepy-looking garrison soldier appeared. “Is everything all right?” the boy asked.

“No, I think he's getting worse. I need a doctor here, now.”

“I’ll go and look. I think there was some kind of emergency earlier.”

“Find a doctor. That’s an order!”

“Yes, Captain!” The boy ran to obey. Levi returned to Erwin’s side. The doctor didn’t come. Levi took Erwin’s broad hand between his own narrower ones. “Erwin, I know you’re here somewhere. I know you can hear me. You have to come back, now. I’ll make decisions if I have to, but I don’t know if they’ll be the right ones – the ones you would have made. We’ll keep fighting, but fuck knows if we’ll get anywhere. I don’t know the plans, – not beyond ‘kill the titans’. I’ll take over for a while, if you need to rest – that’s all right – but your job isn’t finished yet. You told me, if I joined you, you couldn’t promise me anything except a hard fight. You told me how it would be. I followed you because you never tried to hide what would happen. You said you needed me as a weapon, and I said –”

Erwin’s hand between Levi’s clenched suddenly, gripping tight, and his eyes focussed on Levi’s. “You said _, bastard! You mean you just want to use me!_ ”

Levi smiled through his fear, trying not to think about how weak and effortful Erwin’s whisper sounded.

“Yes. And you said, _that’s right_. And I knew that whatever else, I could trust you not to sugar-coat the facts.”

Erwin attempted to raise his head, but it fell back onto the pillow. “I never lied – not to you.”

“I know.” Levi let go of Erwin’s hand to reach for the earthenware jug beside the bed, and poured water into the cup he’d used before. “You need water. Drink.”

Levi slipped his right arm behind Erwin’s shoulders and raised him up enough so that he wouldn’t choke, holding the cup to his lips. Erwin drank obediently, but after a few sips he whispered, “Enough.” He tried to turn his head towards his right shoulder. “I remember,” he said. “It’s gone, isn’t it – my arm?”

“Yes. The wound’s healing well.”

Erwin shook his head. “I’m dying, Levi.”

“No! You have a fever, but it will pass. Fight!”

Erwin’s left hand caught Levi’s again. “I never lied to you. Don’t lie to me now.”

“I’m not lying! You will get better.”

“I feel – as though everything’s – slipping. Levi –”

“The doctor’s coming!” Levi cried. “Hold on!” His grip on Erwin’s hand tightened, holding on so hard that his knuckles went white with the pressure, trying to still the shaking, not in Erwin’s hand, but in his own. He wasn’t the one who was sick – why was his body behaving in this stupid way?

“Levi…” Erwin whispered. The weakness of his voice terrified Levi. He put his free hand on Erwin’s cheek, tilting his head away from the sight of the bandaged stump, fixing his eyes on Erwin’s.

“Look at me,” Levi said.

Erwin tried to smile. “I do.”

Levi wasn’t sure what he meant by that, worried that he might be falling back into delirium. “Stay with me, Erwin.”

“I want to, but I think I –”

“No! No – you stay!”

Erwin took a gasping breath. “Kiss me, Levi.”

“What?”

“Please – kiss me.”

No titan had ever made Levi feel the kind of fear that swept through him then. In his normal state of mind Erwin would never make such a request. A part of Levi longed to do what Erwin wanted – what he had wanted himself for so long now that he could hardly remember when it had started – but not now, not like this. Levi’s impulse was to press his lips against Erwin’s, to plead with him just to _live_ , to beg – even to cry, if he could remember how – but none of those things would help Erwin to get better.

Instead, he steadied himself, leaned close to Erwin’s ear and gave his commander what he needed.

“No way,” Levi said, his tone as cool as he could make it. “Have you got the slightest idea what your breath smells like? There is no way in hell I’m kissing you now. This isn’t over, so don’t you dare even think about saying goodbye. Get well. Learn to brush your fucking teeth with your left hand, and _then_ I’ll kiss you, understand?”

Erwin smiled faintly. “Yes, Captain. You - don’t – cut me any slack, do you?”

“Not until the job’s done, no,” Levi said. “You told me not to, remember? You told me never to stop telling you the truth, even at those times when you wouldn’t want to hear it. So I’m telling you now - get well, and we’ll get this job over, and then –”

He was interrupted by a moan from Erwin. His eyes rolling back in his head, Erwin began to mumble indecipherable words again. Levi could do nothing but wipe away the sweat from Erwin’s face, neck and chest. “Where the hell’s that doctor?” he muttered, frustrated and frightened.

A shudder passed through Erwin’s body, and Levi was ashamed of the strange, high whimper that burst from his own throat.

“No! You stay with me. You promised me, you bastard! You promised if I gave myself to your cause… You know what you promised me, and I’m not letting you off the hook. Your life isn’t yours to give up, so you fucking _stay_!” Erwin’s chest fell on a long, wheezing breath. Sweat beaded on his face. Levi waited for him to inhale – and waited –

“Erwin!” Without thinking, Levi grasped Erwin’s upper arms, his fingers closing on the wound where his right arm ended. Erwin gasped, took a long stuttering breath, and began to breath normally again. Levi put his hand on Erwin’s forehead, and found it horribly clammy. He looked up, scowling, as the doctor hurried into the room, tying the strings of a clean apron behind her back as she did so. Levi moved away from the bed so that she could examine Erwin.

“What the hell took you so long?” Levi demanded.

“I’m sorry. We had to deal with an undiagnosed ruptured spleen.” The doctor looked over her shoulder at Levi. “Bring me another blanket.”

“Another – But, he’s already burning!”

“No. It looks as though the fever has broken. He’s been lucky - he should start to recover now. He needs water, whenever he can take it, and a lot of sleep. When he’s able to sit up, we’ll start on the beef tea and tonic.”

"The fever's broken?"

The doctor smiled at him. "It has." 

Needing to ask, Levi said, “He was talking a lot, earlier - rambling, I suppose. Strange things… Do you think he’ll remember?”

“I doubt it. If he does, he probably won’t be able to tell what was real and what was the fever. People say all kinds of things when they’re feverish, but it doesn’t mean any more than dreams do.”

Levi went to the cupboard and took out a neatly folded blanket. The doctor moved to take it from him, but he shook his head. “I’ll do it. I’ll stay with him. It’s nearly morning.”

The doctor moved aside so that Levi could arrange the blanket over Erwin. She smiled when he went to the end of the bed and tucked the blanket under the mattress using proper hospital corners.

“It will take him days to recover,” she said. “I’ll send the nurse. You have work to do.”

“Yes,” Levi agreed, “but not yet. Send the nurse at reveille.” He put his hand on Erwin’s forehead again. “It feels cooler,” he said, not quite able to believe it yet.

“The worst is over.”

Levi looked at her, but there seemed to be no point in voicing what must have been going through both their minds. Instead, Levi asked, “The ruptured spleen?”

“We were too late.”

“Ah. Who was it?”

“A member of the garrison. Lise Witt.”

“I didn’t know her. I’m sorry. You’ve had a hard night.”

“We all have. You should get some rest before you go back on duty, Captain.”

“I will,” Levi lied.

The doctor checked the dressings on Erwin’s wound, and said, “It’s clean. The nurse will re-dress it in the morning. You’re sure you want to stay now?”

“Yes.”

When the doctor had left, closing the door softy behind her, Levi sat on the bed beside Erwin, not touching him, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest until the lamplight paled against the soft gray of the coming dawn.

**Author's Note:**

> This may become a two-shot, depending on what happens in the next few chapters of the manga. If so, there may be smut.


End file.
